


God Can Get Fucked For All I Care (By Fall Out Boy)

by iridescent_blue



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and then him and pete just hangin out bein bfs, atheist kid with jewish family attempts to write about christianity, itS SWEET I PROMISE JUST TRUST ME OK, literally so much fluff i was drowning in it as i was writing this, literally this is mikey hating organized religion, some level of religion related angst, some level of shitty group chat that reflects my own
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescent_blue/pseuds/iridescent_blue
Summary: Mikey is sick and tired of going to church. Yeah, his parents are religious. Is he? Hell no. So, when the holidays come around and Mikey has to go to church all the fucking time, he gets annoyed at his parents and all of organized religion.Thankfully, he has a great boyfriend who is willing to listen to his 'fuck the church' rants and watch British TV with him.





	God Can Get Fucked For All I Care (By Fall Out Boy)

**Author's Note:**

> hi quick notice - this is actually me projecting my inner thoughts about religion into a fic because i can't deal with my feelings well
> 
> also i'm single and writing this made me crave love even more
> 
> this was written and posted in a grand total of about 3 and a half hours so there are definitely mistakes - if you see them, tell me because i sure as hell am not going to fix them on my own
> 
> also btw ive never been to an actual catholic church so i definitely fucked a BUNCH of stuff up, i know, just abandon reason (like the church has) and read the fic
> 
> have fun

Fucking hell. Mikey hated having a Christian family. It wasn’t just the whole “homosexuality is bad and you’re going to hell for liking dick” thing, because his family followed the “love thy neighbor” sentiment instead, but the whole concept of there being a ‘God’ that cares about the earth is intensely, extremely stupid. Yes, it’s fine that his parents found solace in God and it made them feel like they had a purpose in this cruel world, but Mikey just couldn’t see it. If God really cared about him, then why the fuck did he have depression and bipolar disorder? Pretty shitty deal from God, if he did say so himself. Honestly, the thought that he had control over his life rather than an all-knowing being playing with him like he was a Sim was actually pretty comforting. He could do what he wanted without thinking shit like ‘what if God doesn’t like what I’m doing?’ And it made life a lot easier to live.

Oh-so-fucking-coincidentally, Mikey was on a ‘god fucking sucks’ kick right before the new year, where he had to go to church fourteen million times just because it was ‘important that he respect his parent’s religious views.’ What about his fucking lack of religious views? Asking his parents if he could stay home from church wouldn’t work since they’d start yelling about how important it was for them to go as a family. Gerard had given up on listening to him at that point (he liked the feeling of church and Mikey had been on this kick for about a week now), so his only other option was his godforsaken group chat.

 

milkyway: church fucking sucks

 

milkyway: like seriously why the fuck do i have to go im an atheist who wants god to get fucked whY do i have to go to church and fuckin praise him

 

peat moss: i dunno man ur parents are weird

 

frnk: for once i agree with pete ur parents are pretty fucked for makin u go

 

frnk: like i hate church and the whole christianity thing and my mom literally said “k cool u can stay home while i go u just gotta take care of urself”

 

milkyway: like theres nO POINT IN ME GOING SINCE I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT GOD

 

milkyway: RELIGION IS FUCKING MADE UP AND IF THERE IS A GOD HES FUCKIN LAUGHING AT ME BECAUSE HE FUCKED ME UP SO GOOD

 

milkyway: LIKE IF THERE IS A FUCKING GOD THEN WHY THE FUCK AM I SO FUCKING MESSED UP TO THE POINT THAT I HAVE TO BE MEDICATED

 

milkyway: IF ‘GOD MAKES ALL PEOPLE IN HIS IMAGE’ THEN WHY IS MY MOM A MENTALLY STABLE STRAIGHT PERSON AND IM A FLAMING BI WITH A SHITLOAD OF PROBLEMS

 

peat moss: ok not to put u off ur ‘god sucks’ rant bc its very welcomed rn but bIG MOOD

 

too much hair™: mikey i gotta say ur right and i totally agree with everything u said (including the fact that ur a disaster bi) but it is tWO IN THE MORNING CAN YOU JUST NOT

 

frnk: yeah tbh ur up rlly late and i was havin a nice good sleep in ur brothers bed but noooooo my phone hAd to go off and fuhkin wake me up

 

frnk: also g is pissed at u for not shutting up so gO THE FUCK TO BED

 

milkyway: first of all ew didn’t need to know u were in my bros bed and second of all i can to what i want and if god wants me to sleep i will c h u g redbull to stay awake

 

peat moss: yeah go to bed babe also if u go to church i will also be there bc of my mom so u can hang with meeeeeeee

 

milkyway: fINE also the fuckin irony that im only going to church to see my bf is probably the best thing to come out of my jesus hatred rants

 

_peat moss named the conversation “jesus hatred”_

 

too much hair™: gO TO BED

 

milkyway: fUCK YOU FINE

**\---**

Going to church on about five hours of sleep is a _bad_ idea. Like, on the scale of ‘walking backward into a tree because you’re avoiding wind’ to ‘bringing a space heater into a shower,’ it’s at a solid ‘smoking two blunts before a really important chem lab’. Aka, a _really fucking bad idea._ Church is boring anyway, since it’s a bunch of old musty white guys reading about sin or whatever, and there isn’t anything else you can do. When Mikey and Gerard were little, they would curl up on the pews and fall asleep. Now, Gerard’s in college and all that shit and doesn’t have to fucking go, and Mikey is stuck as a fucking junior in high school being dragged along to these bullshit sermons that build people up and make them think that God actually cares about them, when in reality, there is no one beyond their small bubble of life that cares about them. So, Mikey is here, sitting in an uncomfortable wooden pew and the church is uncomfortably cold and Mikey is uncomfortable having to read things as a part of the congregation so he just sits quietly and observes how cult-like this church is as the service drags on.

 

And on.

 

And on.

 

And now Mikey is actually getting tired and the thought of bed at home is becoming more and more enticing and Pete is sticking his tongue out at him because his boyfriend is _actually five years old_ and his eyes are starting to close because this sermon is just _so fucking boring_.

 

Mikey shrieks a little when he’s jolted out of his thirty-second power nap by the organ. Seriously, why in the fucking name of our lord and savior Neil Gaiman (because Neil Gaiman is the closest thing to a god) do churches need organs and an obnoxious-ass choir that sings everything three octaves too high? Probably to make sure everyone stays awake during the goddamn sermon. Pete’s friend Joe once told Mikey about how his very Jewish grandfather went to a huge Catholic church in France and sat through the whole service just to hear the organ play. Talk about dedication to music you love.

The only solace of Mikey going to church is that afterward, Pete can come over and they can just lazily make out for an entire afternoon. That seems an eternity away, especially since Mikey is trying not to burst out laughing as Pete begins to slightly headbang to the organ and choir. He can’t fully get into it since he’ll be in deep shit if he does, so he looks like a chicken on crack. It’s beautiful.

 

Finally, after going through all of the Bible reading and hymns, it’s time for the preacher’s actual sermon. He doesn’t look angry today (which Mikey is going to count as a first), so he’s hoping for a speech about love and acceptance. This is a pretty chill church, after all. A few years ago, Gerard’s youth group led a service where they talked about injustice, and the opening song was Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”. It was absolutely amazing to see all these dusty white ladies openly listen to a bunch of teenagers talk about love and acceptance for an hour and a half, and Mikey actually paid attention for once.

 

The preacher started talking about Mr. Rogers and ‘neighborly duty,’ and that’s when Mikey decided to tune him out again, instead choosing to trace the swirls of the mural behind the pulpit with his eyes. He glanced at Pete for a second and a second turned into _way_ too long since Pete was looking at him like he was the only thing that mattered in this world. Mikey liked being pretty stoic most of the time, but Pete’s expression made his heart feel like some weird oobleck-type thing, but in a good way (if that was possible).

 

Fuck, he was head-over-heels for this guy.

 

After what seemed like four and a half billion years (aka the _actual_ age of the earth, not some bullshit six thousand years created by some musty dudes who were blackout drunk), the goddamn service was over. Pete immediately attached himself to Mikey, cracking jokes and poking Mikey in the side every thirty seconds. Finally, Mikey’s mom threw him the keys to her car (his dad was in the choir and left for church before Mikey got up). As soon as they got outside the building, Pete got a wild gleam in his eye.

 

“Race you to the car! 3, 2, 1, go!” He took off across the parking lot, and Mikey, not one to turn down a challenge or lose to his boyfriend with tiny legs, sprinted across the lot with him. Pete beat him by a second, but Mikey had the keys, so it didn’t matter. He could keep Pete waiting out in the cold for as long as he damn well pleased. It was cold, though, and Mikey wanted to go back to his house and watch the Great British Baking Show with Pete while buried under a bunch of blankets. So, being a decent human for once, he unlocked the car and he and Pete got in.

 

“You are the fucking worst, you know that, right?” Mikey said, starting the car and turning on the heat.

 

“Yeah, but you love me!”

 

“Only because you bring me coffee in the morning and are willing to watch British television for six hours straight.” It was true. Pete brought Mikey coffee in the mornings at school, and it was the only reason Mikey was actually passing his classes. “Now shut up and let me get out of this parking lot because old ladies are blind as shit and scary drivers.”

 

At that, Pete actually shut up, busying himself with plugging his phone into the aux cord so he and Mikey had music for the ride home. He hummed a bit and tapped his fingers on Mikey’s thigh as they drove out onto the main road, headed back to Mikey’s house. Soon, Queen was coming from the speakers and Pete was dramatically singing every single song. Mikey, on the other hand, was trying not to crash since he was laughing so hard.

 

Somehow, all casualties were avoided, and Pete and Mikey were spooned together on Mikey’s bed, the Great British Baking Show (aka the best baking show in the history of the world) playing on Mikey’s laptop. Pete would occasionally stop watching to kiss Mikey quickly but then would go straight back to yelling at the contestants for all the things that they were fucking up. Why did Mikey love him? He doesn’t know, but he just loves him.

 

Four episodes in, both of them are a bit bored with the show. Pete closed the laptop after an episode ends and carefully puts it on the floor (Mikey has a thing about throwing around laptops). He curled into Mikey and grabbed his face in his hands. “You know I love you, right? Like I really fucking love you to the point where I don’t know what to do with myself when you literally do anything because I’m so head over heels for you.”

 

That’s all Mikey needs to hear before he’s winding his arms around Pete’s neck and kissing him slowly. It’s a lazy, happy kiss and it lasts for a while before Pete pulls away and starts to kiss down Mikey’s neck, slowly sucking hickeys into his skin (it’s not his fault that Mikey just has a perfect neck for giving hickeys) and kissing over his adam’s apple as Mikey hums happily. Pete pulls Mikey’s face down to his and gives him another deep, soft kiss, one that tells them they have all the time in the world for anything they want to do.

 

**\---**

 

A few hours later, Mikey’s mom knocks on the door, and hearing no noise at all, opens it. Mikey and Pete are both asleep (a rare occasion, since both of them are insomniacs who almost never close their eyes), curled together. Pete’s head is tucked into Mikey’s neck and Mikey has his arms fully around Pete, with the covers pulled up over them, Mikey’s laptop discarded on the floor. Mikey has a hickey or two, and so does Pete.

 

Being the good mom that Mikey deserves, she quietly closes the door and lets them sleep. Her son needs a bit of peace, quiet, and love every once in a while.

 

Apparently, not for long, since Pete woke up an hour later and being a tickle assault on a sleeping Mikey, which ended in a lot of screaming and Pete taking an elbow to the face.

 

So yeah, having a Christian family sucks sometimes, but having Pete makes all the boring church sermons worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> RIP Aretha Franklin (a true queen)
> 
> also, can confirm, don't go to any religious place of worship on five hours of sleep or less bc you'll make an ass of yourself falling asleep
> 
> also go read actual literature by neil gaiman because hes aWESOME (Good Omens, Anansi Boys, and American Gods are my top 3 of his stuff)
> 
> you probably didn't like this but if you did then leave some kudos to boost my ego and if you're reALLy feelin it then maybe leave a comment telling me what i fucked up
> 
> see ya bye  
> xx blue


End file.
